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Thursday, April 15, 2010

"You Will Never Know..."

For Sunday, April 18th, 2010

(Photo of stained glass window in St Mary's church in Fairford, Gloucestershire.  Portrays this week's lectionary reading.  Church was built in the 1490s.  It's unique among English parish churches for its near complete pre-Reformation glass windows.  Photo by Lawrence Lew, a Dominican friar of the English Province currently based in Blackfriars, Oxford.)

Lectionary Reading – John 21:1-19 (NRSV)

After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias; and he showed himself in this way. Gathered there together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples. Simon Peter said to them, "I am going fishing." They said to him, "We will go with you." They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, "Children, you have no fish, have you?" They answered him, "No." He said to them, "Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some." So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the sea. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off. When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish that you have just caught." So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred fifty-three of them; and though there were so many, the net was not torn.

Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast." Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, "Who are you?" because they knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was raised from the dead. When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my lambs." A second time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Tend my sheep." He said to him the third time, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me?" And he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep.

Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go." (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, "Follow me."

“You Will Never Know.....”

The commentary resource used for this week’s scripture notes that the above events constitute the third time the apostles have met with the Risen Christ. On this occasion, Peter’s mind is troubled. He’s troubled over his denials of knowing Jesus prior to the crucifixion. Likely he thinks that his transgressions are beyond repentance and reconciliation especially since Jesus has somehow conquered death. Confronted with this new reality and new order of things, Perter's unsure of what to do. Overwhelmed by frustration, he decides to go back to fishing since that’s what he knows and what he did before Jesus came into his life. The real problem however is that Peter is having difficulty envisioning what his role will be in the new order of things. He’s unable to sort it through. Exasperated, he casts off his apostolic role and settles for fishing. The problem is that the future is at stake; for if Peter and the other apostles are caught up again into their old lives it’s unlikely there will be a movement to pursue the cause for God’s Peaceable Kingdom here on earth.

To keep that from happening, Jesus creates a compelling situation for Peter. He does so in just the right place at the right time. The setting is kept simple; nothing more than a breakfast of bread and fish cooked over coals after which there will follow a fireside beach chat. During that conversation, Jesus gives Peter the opportunity to affirm his love and loyalty; so for each of three denials, Peter ends up making an affirmation of love and fidelity to Christ’s cause. Painful and hard as the conversation is, Peter insists each time, "Yes Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus responds with, "Feed my sheep." The point of the conversation is that if Peter loves Christ, his love needs to be put into action so that others may know the hope and promise of the Peaceable Kingdom. Christ then offers a sign to Peter of what will herald that he’s been successful in his endeavors. The sign is nothing less than that Peter’s mortal life will end in the same way as Christ’s did. Peter is then restored to his calling when Jesus says, “Follow me.” And what those two words lift up is that it’s not by one’s own strength or wisdom or righteousness that one’s vision is created or one’s ministry is compelled. It is the Spirit of Christ which provides these.

In light of the lectionary scripture and foregoing commentary, my faith tradition asks two questions this week. It asks if you and I have had dark moments in our lives when suddenly we saw Jesus “standing on the shore” and if so, what caused us to recognize him?

What comes to mind for me was a situation some years ago as a young adult while working in a bank as an officer trainee. Largely on a whim, I had moved from Minneapolis, Minnesota to the Kansas City, Missouri area. In Minneapolis, I had been a full time undergraduate student at the University of Minnesota majoring in psychology. To support myself and defray college expenses, I also worked part-time as a bank teller. At Minnesota, I anticipated a long endeavor in graduate studies toward a doctorate in clinical psychology, but after a year into my studies something else happened. And that “something else” was my sense of God urging me to relocate to Kansas City where my church’s international headquarters resided.

Before long the relocation to Kansas City was accomplished and I obtained work at an area bank. I contemplated continuing in banking rather than returning to university to complete my psychology studies. I had been working in the banking industry for three years. It felt like stable work with a secure future. I was a management officer trainee. The pay was reasonable and would certainly improve in short order. The bank president and vice-presidents were encouraging and eager about my development. Yet, something seemed wrong and soon it became obvious. What was obvious is that non-management workers were treated disrespectfully. After an event or two of seeing such individuals reduced to tears for doing work the way they should, I asked myself, “How can I allow myself to be a part of this? I have never seen this kind of treatment at any other bank I’ve worked.”

The soul searching and Christ’s Spirit finally brought things together for me. It happened while returning from my lunch break one day as I walked through the bank lobby to my work station. What I experienced was Christ walking with me and one by one he pointed out each of my co-workers who had fallen asleep spiritually and who he could no longer reach. It wasn’t that they were evil persons or any less worthy than me or had some kind of hell awaiting their souls. It was simply that God and God’s purposes were missing from their lives. “This will happen to you,” Christ said, “if you choose to remain in this field. You will never come to know yourself in the ways I need you to for the calling and work I have for you.”

The next day I walked into the bank president’s office and tendered my resignation. Less than a week later, I was wiping up urine in a care center for neurologically disabled children. A month after that I was working as an aide on a psychiatric inpatient unit. Twenty years later with a master’s degree in psychology and licensure as a mental health professional in Washington State, I would care-manage all publicly funded adult mental health services in a county of 340,000 people. Now, I serve as a bishop in my church traveling a twelve state area counseling people regarding estate planning and their personal legacies and how they can support the work of God’s Peaceable Kingdom long after they have left this mortal existence.

Looking back on it all, I would have to say that one of my most important dark moments involving “Jesus standing on the shore” was that day in the bank lobby some 32 years ago. And while I’m no Peter and no vast or small church depends the slightest upon me or my legacy or what happens in my life --- what has been most important is what Christ did to set me on a path to knowing and understanding myself (and others) in ways that would not otherwise have been possible. Hopefully because of that, I have been a bit like Peter and have fed and nurtured a few of God’s sheep. May the same be said of you and your journey is my hope and prayer this day.

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Resources utilized:
  • Commentary from Jim Rice, Sojourner’s Magazine editor, available at  Sojourners Sermon Preparation website.  Subscription required
  • New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) of the Bible, John 21:1-19
  • Community of Christ Worship Helps for April 18th, 2010 


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