Lectionary Scripture - Psalm 126 (NRSV)When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." The LORD has done great things for us, and we rejoiced.
Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like the watercourses in the Negeb. May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy. Those who go out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, carrying their sheaves.
Reflection on the Scripture:
A worship resource for the above scripture states that God can be trusted to bring us from despair to hope, from sadness to joy. It affirms that God has done wonderful things for us and we’re blessed as a result. It also goes on to affirm that even in difficult times, God is with us and will restore us. The reader is then asked to consider when he or she has felt the need to be restored and how was God present to the individual during that time.
A number of years ago as a young pastor, I was living my dream. I and my family had been called to serve a well-established small church. After visiting the church and its lay leaders and scouting the area for a home, we eagerly accepted the call. We did so with much hope and anticipation for a successful ministry and many years of association with our new church family.
After a couple of years, a small circle of antagonistic members made it their mission to get rid of me. The reason is familiar to a lot pastors, i.e. the antagonists did not want things to change. Two individuals in particular nursed grudges almost a decade old against others in the congregation. The individuals and their followers determined that until injured feelings had been repaired to their liking, the congregation had no right to any other focus or mission.
For me, the situation constituted my first dealings in a faith based setting with persons struggling with personality disorder. As a mental health professional, I had dealt in the clinical setting with such matters, but never in a church. In the clinical setting, these health concerns were much easier to treat and manage. In a church setting, I found my efforts at interventions to be nearly impossible. This occurred mostly because my denominational overseers failed to grasp the concept of such disorders, let alone how to intervene appropriately and effectively so the congregation could be healthier for mission. Eventually, I came to see that this lack of understanding and willingness to intervene existed throughout the denomination I had been part of all my life.
After two years of trying to bring enlightenment and understanding, especially to the persons suffering such disorders, I finally realized I could achieve nothing that God hoped for the congregation. My options basically amounted to little more than being a care-taking maintenance-oriented pastor who spent his days and weeks and months trying to get people through the relational messes caused repeatedly by the congregational antagonists.
Eventually -- because of who and what God is in my life -- there was no other self-respecting option than to resign and relocate. The blow of that decision devastated my family and me. I felt a failure as a minister and pastor. I felt that I had let my family down. For a year, I remembered that our very young daughters kept saying they wanted to go back the town we left. I think for all of us, the move to a different metro area felt like its own kind of exile. Great sadness occupied our thoughts and hearts. For me, I despaired in thinking that I had failed God and failed my call from God to further the cause of God’s just and peaceable reign. My wife eloquently described the time as “the death of a dream.”
But God did wonderful things for us in that we found a home in our new community that we absolutely loved. I also secured a job with a mental health center under the supervision of a man that to this day I would describe as a saint sent by God during that trying and difficult time. Nearly twenty years later, some of our first friendships in our new community remain our best and closest friends today. In time, I rose through the ranks of local public mental health to have oversight for the entire adult system of care in our county. There couldn’t be a more apt description than the Psalm's proclamation that God “restored our fortunes.”
In time, I tried working again for the church and did so for over twelve years. Once again however, when serving as a pastor, the same kind of problem with a small circle of antagonistic persons occurred. As one bright and perceptive supporter in the congregation told me, “You must feel like you’re going through the same thing all over again.” The person couldn’t have been more accurate. This time, when resignation became necessary, the devastation was much easier to manage. I was older, understood people better, and was far more aware of my limitations (and my former denomination’s limitations) in trying to intervene with a group of toxic individuals.
And once again, God did wonderful things, particularly as reflected in my recent post of “My Recent Journey – My God Encounter”. Today, I’m back working full time in publicly funded mental health services. I feel that I am a part of something truly making a difference in people’s lives in the community. Lastly, I have the hope and call from God “to establish a church free of the encumbrances of the world.” Indeed, God is doing wonderful things. And the future, in my humble opinion, couldn’t be brighter or more hopeful for what such a church will be and do and accomplish for God.
Brad Shumate
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